THE POSTMAN
Did you miss the great democratic debate?
Well, fortunately for you, here at the POSTMAN,
we did not...The postman provides an honest
evaluation of the debate for you....
ENJOY THE JOKES
A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR!
You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!”
The doctor replied, “Show me.”
So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee
and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again.
She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.”
He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is.
You broke your finger.”
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor
came out of the
house and went straight to the mail box.
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it,
then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail
box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me
a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
_______________________________________
Mother Mary tells Jesus to take a bath
A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.
“Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow. I don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take
care of the clinic and take care of my patients.”
“Yes, sir!” – answers Seamus.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks:
“So, Seamus, how was your day?”
Seamus told him that he took care of three patients.
“The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.”
“Bravo, and the second one?” – asks the doctor.
“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Malox, sir.” –
says Seamus.“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” –
asks the doctor.“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opened and a
woman entered. Like a flame, she undressed herself, taking off everything including
her bra, her panties and lied down on the table. She spread her legs and shouted:
“HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!”
“Thunderin’ Lard Jayzus, Seamus, what did ye do?” – asks the doctor.
“I put drops in her eyes.” !!!!!
Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?
Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.
Customer: Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
if you are going to fuck it up
won't stop talking
small minded hustlers
the home intruders
no place like home
bored sheep dog
anything you can do
a socialist
3 d stooges
voting rights
a fart sound
doing nothing
get your hand off
archeologists have discovered
this year at valentines...
